so last night i watched an interview on larry king live with joel & victoria osteen. apparently, though, this interview aired on december 8, 2008, but never you mind -

i was so entertained i kept watching and was late for a tasty pho dinner, which is totally out of character for me.
if you don’t know, joel osteen is a preacher based in houston, and his wife victoria does a fair amount of public god-speaking too. apparently, people pay thousands of dollars a seat to be at one of their public sermons.

i think what impressed me was how utterly unconvincing a person can be in an unscripted interview – yes, shades of palin, so i know it’s nothing new – but this is someone who makes a living speaking. so you’d think he could spin an argument better. even i can come up with a more christianly satisfying answer to the question “is faith all you need?” than “Well, I think you need faith to believe, you know.” uh. i guess. and you need to breathe in order to inhale. plus, you need to make sense in order to communicate clearly.

there’s a choice excerpt of the full transcript below – a highlight is when larry asks joel if he thinks marriage is a civil right, and joel responds: “Yes. I don’t — I’m not — I’m not sure I’m up to speed on it. What do you mean by that?”  it’s also fun when victoria reassures us that the gay people who come through their doors are nice people.

i know it’s too easy to talk shit about the famous celebrity preacher, but they kind of pissed me off while fascinating me at the same time. if you can, watch the interview – joel has a way of constantly smiling while he’s talking, and victoria starts to get a very tense look as the interview continues…
excerpt from full transcript:

KING: OK. In another area, the new issue of “Newsweek” — I don’t know if you’ve seen it yet — but it discusses the Proposition 8 study in California and the defeat of the proposal to allow marriage among gays. And it claims that the bible has many, many, many marriages among gays and that it does not come down on it. How do you feel about it?

J. OSTEEN: Well, the way I feel about it is I’m an…

KING: It’s an interesting article, though.

J. OSTEEN: Sure.

KING: You ought to read it.

J. OSTEEN: I have this…

KING: It’s very — written in depth.

J. OSTEEN: Sure. I’d love to read it. I’m not for gay marriage. Every — in the bible, I see that a marriage is between a male and a female. Now, I don’t know — I haven’t read this new one that you’re talking about. I’m not against anybody. I’m not against gay people or anybody else. But I just think that, you know, that’s — my faith is based off the scripture and that’s what I see in the bible that it should be between (INAUDIBLE).

KING: But this gives you other scripture to think about. I mean, it’s very interesting…

J. OSTEEN: Yes. I’d love to see it.

KING: …the new issue.

J. OSTEEN: I’d love to see it.

KING: Do you think it’s a civil right, though, marriage?

J. OSTEEN: Yes. I don’t — I’m not — I’m not sure I’m up to speed on it. What do you mean by that?

KING: Do people have the right to marry whom they wish to marry? You know, for a time in this country, blacks couldn’t marry whites in the South.

J. OSTEEN: Oh, yes. Yes, oh, I think — absolutely. I think anybody should be able to…

KING: But not gays?

J. OSTEEN: Well, I just don’t think that — you know, I don’t think that’s God’s best. And, no, I don’t think that’s — that’s (INAUDIBLE).

KING: Do you think that gay is a choice?

J. OSTEEN: I think that it is a choice. I do think it’s a choice. I can’t say that I understand it all, but I believe it’s a choice.

KING: Do you minister to gay people?

J. OSTEEN: Absolutely. Anybody that comes through the doors.

KING: Do they come and ask you questions?

J. OSTEEN: I’m sure…

KING: Or do they have difficulty dealing with a theology that runs against them?

J. OSTEEN: No. I think — anybody is welcome to come. They know what I believe. But it doesn’t mean that, you know, that the scripture can’t help them. And, you know, our church is not a place for perfect people. There’s not — you know, I can’t say nobody…

KING: Then I can’t go.

(LAUGHTER)

J. OSTEEN: Well, you know what I mean. So, there’s plenty of people that come in and have difficulties and have issues. And, you know, we probably all have something. But we’re open and, you know, want it to be a place of hope and healing.

KING: How do you feel, Victoria, about the gay question?

V. OSTEEN: Well, you know, I just — I believe marriage should between a man and a woman. And we do have gay people in our church. And then they’re wonderful people. They’re nice people. It’s just that we just don’t believe in that.

also, i have mentioned it before, but to remind myself, even: a friend and i now maintain an equally irregularly updated blog, jealous gods. sometimes i post there, usually when i’m feeling less inclined to visit whiskey.

I have, for the last couple months, been building mad character as a recluse. The recluse part fully intentional; the character building not so much (”character-building” being, of course, a euphemism for other things; I leave it to the gentle or not-so-gentle [you know who you are, whores] readers out there to imagine what other things I might be alluding to).

Anyway. some interesting things to report, since it’s been a while, and I am now planning on embarking upon my emergence from Spell of Seclusion:

First, two quick announcements -

1. After many months of quietly DIY-recording & mixing, bantercut will finally be releasing two long overdue albums of songs. We’re not sure exactly when they’ll be out, although we imagine sometime within month or two. More info on that soon, but the albums are called “leave the bodies that you buried” and “this is where the magic happens.”
2. I’m performing a few times in January 2009:

• January 23: KSW’s Shifted Focus at the De Young Museum (NEW MATERIAL)
• January 29, 30, & 31st: Women on the Way Festival at Shotwell Studios (NEW MATERIAL, adapted from new material at APAture 2008)

More on both of those to come.

And now, some random thoughts, for your perusing pleasure or displeasure.

In no particular order:
1. Holy shit, you can actually learn something by taking the GRE! As I did, in fact, do, not five weeks ago. From my skewed vantage point of self-imposed exile, peeking out from my cave and squinting into the light, I reasoned taking a four-hour standardized test would be fun, and why NOT throw a hundred and forty bucks to ETS when I don’t even have health insurance? Anyway, I ended up learning a new word, “friable,” which doesn’t have too many practical applications in my particular life, but at least I’m now pronouncing it correctly (when I saw it on the test I thought “FRY-uhble” but it’s actually “FRAY-uhble” – who knew? [probably most people]). The best part (if not failing the GRE is a “best part”) is that I guessed correctly on the meaning (ahem: easily crumbled or reduced to powder; crumbly: friable rock). Lesson learned? I can find a silver lining in ANYthing. My stubborn optimism, while often cloaked in hyper-pessimism, is NOT FRIABLE.

2. Feeling good about taking the GRE, while better than feeling bad, on some level, is probably an indication of a disturbingly fractured perspective, due to self-imposed exile.

3.  I find comfort in penning endless sentences, chock full of unnecessary (yet somehow infinitely satisfying) asides, parentheticals, dashes, and all other grammatical (or not-so-grammatical) manner of circumventing the actual end of the sentence in question, even when I am fully aware that the comfort/satisfaction I take is certainly not shared by the vast majority of my (easily numbered) readers. I think my writing of such sentences just might be a metaphor for the way I live my life. That shit was so profound I could barely wrap my brain around it.

4.  I need an editor in many cases (but who doesn’t).

5.  There are good writerly souls out there kind enough to have helped me out in this respect, in recent months (thanks).

6. Even while living in exile, it is possible to appreciate the finer things. Two nights ago, for instance, was treated in my KSW board member capacity to a very memorable evening of musical performances by Goh Nakamura, Art Hirahara, and Vienna Teng; I just wanted to express my gratitude to them and others in the last few months who’ve unknowingly given cause for soul-upliftment.

7.  Santa Ramen, especially on a particularly cold day, is also cause for soul upliftment.