It’s officially Day 8, and while I have some rambles entries to account for the Missing Days, they require more editing than I’m willing to deal with at this particular moment. So, instead: Random Numbered One-Liners With Titles In Bold Lettering!

1. Berlin Public Transportation = In God’s Image, Probably, If You’re Into That Sort Of In-God’s-Image Thing.

It seems the one-liner has been built into the title: but one of many things I love about Berlin’s trains are the cool little buttons that are easily depressed when a rider wants in or out, and which light up very excitingly whenever the train arrives at a station. (I have tried, in vain, to insert a helpful photo here, but for some reason my attempts have failed. Apparently, I suck at digital camera technology from five years ago.)

2. Holy Shit, After Two Days Here, I Still Don’t Speak or Understand German.

It’s true! And for some reason, that small detail interfered with my ability to “get” the two All German Plays I saw tonight at the Schaubühne and two nights ago at the Volksbühne—but what’s “getting it” mean when it comes to Art, right? and I still got to step onto a jangling beach of shining coppery and silvery coins tonight as I walked to my seat. So I wasn’t sweating comprehension. (crap. that’s way more than a one-liner. I guess I suck at brevity, too, especially when rushing.)

3. Hey, Europe’s Full Of White People!

Also true! I’ve spotted a few POCs, although most of the Asian brothers and sisters I’ve seen have been working at flower and fruit stands, not, say, getting a drink at the bar or taking in a night of Theater. However, I haven’t really been out much, nor have I conducted any legitimate research on the subject, so I can’t draw any conclusions. I mean, I can, but they’d be totally groundless, which I know doesn’t stop a lot of people from drawing conclusions, but I’ve got integrity & shit. Really.

4. I’ve Got Integrity & Shit.

I just felt it deserved its own item number; no one gives me enough credit for this one, so I’ll give myself credit. Giving oneself credit is a hella integriful thing to do.

5. Beer Is Cheap, And Yet I Still Insist On Whiskey!

The Beers Of Berlin (and Prague) are totally wasted on me. I did try some, but I just couldn’t stick with it long enough to experience the magic.

6. I Almost Purchased Artwork From A New Yorker Ex-Pat Today!

I really liked the piece; but then I figured that would be sort of ridiculous. And I’m trying not to really spend money on this trip aside from the whole transportation & eating/drinking thing. The lucky few will get a postcard; and I did purchase chocolate for my parents, because they’re really into that antioxidant chocolate thing, and I sort of owe them for, you know, bringing me into the world & shit (now you all know who’s responsible).

7. My Lineage Spotted on Schoenhauser Straße!

And speaking of who’s responsible, I descend, on one side of my family, from a long line of swiss-german bookbinders. I would have gone in and said “Mutter, Vater: Ich habe wieder!” or something like that. But the store was closed, and I don’t speak German (see #2).

(Uh, I had a photo here, too, but same problem. Numbers 1 & 7 totally aren’t being presented as they should be.)

Okay. Tomorrow I head back to Prague. I get to ride the Deutsche Bahn again: joy.

I have, for the last couple months, been building mad character as a recluse. The recluse part fully intentional; the character building not so much (”character-building” being, of course, a euphemism for other things; I leave it to the gentle or not-so-gentle [you know who you are, whores] readers out there to imagine what other things I might be alluding to).

Anyway. some interesting things to report, since it’s been a while, and I am now planning on embarking upon my emergence from Spell of Seclusion:

First, two quick announcements -

1. After many months of quietly DIY-recording & mixing, bantercut will finally be releasing two long overdue albums of songs. We’re not sure exactly when they’ll be out, although we imagine sometime within month or two. More info on that soon, but the albums are called “leave the bodies that you buried” and “this is where the magic happens.”
2. I’m performing a few times in January 2009:

• January 23: KSW’s Shifted Focus at the De Young Museum (NEW MATERIAL)
• January 29, 30, & 31st: Women on the Way Festival at Shotwell Studios (NEW MATERIAL, adapted from new material at APAture 2008)

More on both of those to come.

And now, some random thoughts, for your perusing pleasure or displeasure.

In no particular order:
1. Holy shit, you can actually learn something by taking the GRE! As I did, in fact, do, not five weeks ago. From my skewed vantage point of self-imposed exile, peeking out from my cave and squinting into the light, I reasoned taking a four-hour standardized test would be fun, and why NOT throw a hundred and forty bucks to ETS when I don’t even have health insurance? Anyway, I ended up learning a new word, “friable,” which doesn’t have too many practical applications in my particular life, but at least I’m now pronouncing it correctly (when I saw it on the test I thought “FRY-uhble” but it’s actually “FRAY-uhble” – who knew? [probably most people]). The best part (if not failing the GRE is a “best part”) is that I guessed correctly on the meaning (ahem: easily crumbled or reduced to powder; crumbly: friable rock). Lesson learned? I can find a silver lining in ANYthing. My stubborn optimism, while often cloaked in hyper-pessimism, is NOT FRIABLE.

2. Feeling good about taking the GRE, while better than feeling bad, on some level, is probably an indication of a disturbingly fractured perspective, due to self-imposed exile.

3.  I find comfort in penning endless sentences, chock full of unnecessary (yet somehow infinitely satisfying) asides, parentheticals, dashes, and all other grammatical (or not-so-grammatical) manner of circumventing the actual end of the sentence in question, even when I am fully aware that the comfort/satisfaction I take is certainly not shared by the vast majority of my (easily numbered) readers. I think my writing of such sentences just might be a metaphor for the way I live my life. That shit was so profound I could barely wrap my brain around it.

4.  I need an editor in many cases (but who doesn’t).

5.  There are good writerly souls out there kind enough to have helped me out in this respect, in recent months (thanks).

6. Even while living in exile, it is possible to appreciate the finer things. Two nights ago, for instance, was treated in my KSW board member capacity to a very memorable evening of musical performances by Goh Nakamura, Art Hirahara, and Vienna Teng; I just wanted to express my gratitude to them and others in the last few months who’ve unknowingly given cause for soul-upliftment.

7.  Santa Ramen, especially on a particularly cold day, is also cause for soul upliftment.

hey there.

i’m not cheating or anything, but i’m starting a side blog called Jealous Gods with my friend daniel tien simon.

perhaps he wishes i hadn’t said anything.

anyway, please read this blog for a bit – it’s here at http://jealousgods.wordpress.com/

i even blogged about my recent performance at APAture 2008 (an ! epiphany! but a personal one; i guess all epiphanies are personal. but i digress).

also, while i’m blogging (this is the “more” part of this post), i was recently awarded the honor of being admitted into the 2008-2009 San Francisco PlayGround writers pool! i couldn’t be more pleased. i was a member of the writers pool in previous years, but didn’t make the cut last year (i take all the blame for this event of unacceptedness; besides, being rejected builds character). anyway, should be an exciting season. check out PlayGround here. oh, the thrills!!!!

more later. in my new unemployed lifestyle, i should make more time for bloggery. so by the time the employment comes raining down on me, i’ll be in the habit of regular bloggery, and being employed shan’t stop me.

after a grueling week of rehearsals for LFV, director tom and i sit down for a gchat conversation. join us, won’t you?

[here begineth gchat]
8:53 PM me: get on chat bitch.

8:55 PM finally.

8:56 PM i think this is a better idea than exquisite corpse.

gchat has more authenticity.

like Lydia’s Funeral Video. ALso authentic.

clearly, i type more quickly than you do.

Thomas: Very authentic. Paticularly today’s rehearsal

me: today’s rehearsal was quite eye-opening, actually.

8:57 PM Thomas: There are times, and they are growing in number, where the acting stops feeling like acting and becomes very real. This is exciting to watch.

Today’s rehearsal: eye opening how?

8:58 PM me: because i think at the start of the rehearsal (and actually, this process has been going on all week), i wasn’t trusting the characters to speak for themselves

(on a subconscious level, of course)

it was cool to feel that as a performer, i don’t need to force anything – which i think i was doing a little bit without realizing it
it’s the whole character versus caricature question

8:59 PM Thomas: Sure

me: on the one hand, outlandish extreme caricatures ARE funny and arresting and engaging, and i think i did a lot of that in the first run

which made sense, because the play was really fresh

but now it’s had some time to breathe, and as a director, you’re bringing out a lot of the nuances and the depth in each character that we didn’t have the time to address in the first production – not as much

9:00 PM Thomas : Well, the earlier incarnations had their uses.

For one thing, you’re very comfortable with these characters’ voices and physicalities now

You know how they sound

and you’re using it

9:02 PM And so now that we have specific actions and needs for each character and a sense of what they all desperately, desperately want…

9:03 PM You’re able to play these actions in their voices and mannerisms in a way that’s interesting, quick, and real.

So we sort of have the best of both worlds…

Distinct, real needs

And unique, distinguishable characters

All this in a solo play. That’s impressive.

9:04 PM me: it had better be.

Thomas : Oh yeah

New York audiences

They’ll eat us alive if they don’t like it

Good thing they will

me: yes. mediocrity not celebrated anywhere, i don’t guess.

9:05 PM
Thomas : True

Let’s brief our readers on where we are with this, shall we?

Readers:

To date we have worked on each of the play’s scenes individually

and run it through in sections, though not yet in its entirety

It’s in that second draft stage

Tighter, leaner, meaner

Not fully nailed down yet but getting there

Tomorrow Sam goes back to SF to take care of other artistic business (traitor).

9:07 PM me: (distance makes the heart grow fonder)

Thomas : When she returns, we go about the business of nailing everything down, working on transitions, scene changes, etc.

Then tech

me: (and totally hones the performing muscles)

Thomas : And then our show!

me: (and then we drink)

and we’ll have a trailer up soon

which you’ve been editing

9:08 PM Thomas : YES

That goes up on Sunday

me: it has some of the music our composer Kendall Li created

very exciting.

and we get our final postcards next week, too

Thomas : They’re foxy

me: i think so.

9:09 PM okay, i guess it’s about time we put this gchat to bed.

or took it out back and shot it, or something.

Thomas : Look for our trailer on Monday!

me: should we say anything noteworthy, memorable, and/or profound as a closing?

Thomas : Just take a look at the trailer. It will answer all your questions about the show. It’s there for your viewing pleasure

Signing off

9:10 PM me: okay, i guess we could also say something forgettable. signing off. thanks for reading.

it’s thursday night. january 4, 2008. of course, technically january 5. Obama and Huckabee just won in Iowa*. and i realized how far behind i am in the life of bloggery.

perhaps i’m just not cut out to be a blogging type person. that’s okay, there are other paths, and more than enough bloggers out there who LIKE calling themselves bloggers. i can use blogger technology, like wordpress, but still not be a blogger. i’m perfectly fine with not being a blogger. i like not being a blogger. that’s why, long ago when i first set this thing up, i was fairly adamant about this section being “the rambles,” and NOT being a blog. but Random Blog Intruder enjoyed showing up and contradicting me.

anyway, not calling myself a blogger takes off a ton of pressure. it’s that crushing weight of high expectations that gives me problems.
anyway.

i have been working on a new solo piece, “lydia’s funeral video.” it opens january 31st at a place called the dark room theater, in san francisco’s mission district. it’s a very small space, only 40 seats or so, so if i don’t fill it up i will have totally won the Game Of Failing. and i don’t need to win that game–i’ve already won a few times, someone else should win**. so i encourage you to come see it–there are nine shows total, thursday – saturday, january 31 – february 16, 2008.

so here’s how the postcard sums up the show (i wrote the postcard text, so i don’t exactly feel like i’m cheating here by repeating copy i already developed [yet somehow a part of me still feels guilty]):

“The not-so-distant future. A dream-invading embryo. An obsession with the apocalypse. And four weeks to shoot a video, do some standup comedy, and terminate a pregnancy. Holy shit.”

yeah, that about sums it up. although perhaps i should have changed the order around, to read thus:

“The not-so-distant future. An obsession with the apocalypse. A dream-invading embryo. And four weeks to shoot a video, do some standup comedy, and terminate a pregnancy. Holy shit.”

i think the guilt comes from summing up the show without using a single complete sentence.

so it’s a new year***. and a new show. and i find both of these things to be not insignificant.

information for LFV is here:

http://www.whiskeyandacigarette.org/calendar/index.php?op=view&id=203

*From this simple statement about the Iowa caucus, the Gentle Reader might infer that whiskeyandacigarette posts are topical & political, and potentially insightful, incisive, and illuminating; also, alliterative. The Gentle Reader would be right. Whiskeyandacigarette is, truly, magnificent.
**IMPORTANT NOTE: some might infer from this double-asterisked sentence that i’m feeling down, and am making defeatist remarks about my habit of failing in life. not so; i simply liked the general notion of winning at the game of failing, and followed my fancy to its inevitable conclusion.

***ANOTHER IMPORTANT NOTE: happy new year, fuckers. thought i wasn’t gonna say it? i just did. haHA.

****I really need to use numbered foot notes instead of this multiple-asterisking bullshit. what the fuck? i can’t work under these conditions.

i figured i might as well make it go TWICE as far by copying and pasting my email into this rambles section, so i actually have some content that’s not two-months old. here we go:

SUBJECT: stuffs: punchline monday, APAture tuesday, LFV, and beyond.

hello.

you have not heard from me in a while. okay, some of you heard from me earlier today, or last night, or the day before, but not about THIS stuff. well, mebbe i mentioned this stuff once or twice, off-handedly.
but i didn’t write to you about it in such a formal way. not that this email is any where near formal. have you even made it this far yet? congratulations.

anyway, i am announcing a couple things that are right around the figurative corner:

————————————————————————————————————
1. monday, september 17th
punchline comedy club
444 battery, between clay & washington, san francisco
8pm
$10 (i think)

official event name: drennon davis’ san francisco values

this evening is actually in honor of a new on-line tv show. like, it’s a tv show, but it’s not on a tv. and so i played a very small part in the pilot episode (and who knows, the part could have been cut at this
point), but everyone in the pilot is doing a short comedy set. i may be doing 3 minutes, or 5, or 7, so it won’t be very much time. but OH! what fun we’ll have. there are many wonderful comics performing, such
as drennon davis. and kurt weitzman. and moshe kasher. and others. i, also, expect to perform.

you can get tickets here:
http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/1C003EFAD3E25247 artistid=1145213&majorcatid=10002&minorcatid=51

[or if that link doesn't work, trying going to punchline's site.]
————————————————————————————————————

after performing at punchline, i will be returning to KSW’s space180, where i expect to work throughout the night like a rockstar, but without the fame or the coke, finishing up preparations for:

2. the opening night of KSW’s 9th annual APAture festival!
TUES, SEPT 18th, 2007
KSW’s space180, 180 capp street, @ 17th street, sf
Gallery Opening Reception/Festival Kick-Off
exhibition showcases the work of about 30 artists include visual feature Misako Inaoka.

suggested donation of $5, or $10, or something, but it’s FREE to go to the opening. please support if you can with suggested donation, but don’t NOT go because you think you have to pay.

festival runs 9/18 – 9/29, at various venues in the mission district and chinatown, and it is Arts Festival Most Wondrous and Highly Acclaimed. you must go to as many events in the 12-day time span as is
humanly possible, which would be not all the events, since a few overlap. but hardly any overlap.

look, information is here:
http://www.apature.org

how convenient!

i also will be hosting the apature comedy night on 9/28 at the make-out room. what fun!

please check out the festival. it is my blood, my sweat, my tears…
————————————————————————————————————
also my blood, my sweat, my tears:

3. Lydia’s Funeral Video
opens January 31st, 2008, at the Dark Room Theatre

no other information yet, just trying to generate buzz. i hope to get people to create Lydia’s Funeral Video stickers with a link to the nonexistent LydiasFuneralVideo.com website, and go LFV crazy by stenciling the nonexistent Lydia’s Funeral Video (LFV) logo on the street, brazenly flouting the law, and then have people start engaging in conversations such as the following:

Person 1: whoa, what are you doing?!!!??!

Person 2: just typing out the three words “Lydia’s Funeral Video” over and over for the next post on my blogspot blog, with no spaces and no carriage returns. and i am doing this strange activity with the lights
off and no one else in the apartment–which reminds me, hey! who are you, and how’d you get in here, anyway?

Person 1: i broke in. i’m engaging in guerrilla marketing techniques by breaking into people’s homes and leaving a pile of fliers on their kitchen table. and one flier taped up in the bathroom, because that’s
where most people will notice it.

Person 2: wow. sounds like you and i have both caught the same thing–

P1 & P2: Lydia’s Funeral Video Fever!

(stupid cyber-laughter ensues).

RANDOM BLOG INTRUDER: this is the stupidest dialogue i’ve read this decade.

sam: this isn’t a blog, fuckface, it’s an EMAIL**. so get back to the blogs where you belong. before i CUT you.

RBI: fine. but don’t go blaming me when you get, like, fifty comments for readers agreeing with random blog intruder.

sam: i can’t get comments. because it’s NOT A BLOG. i’m gonna go start a website called www.notablog.com

person 3: hey, Not A Blog is a grrrrreeeat band name!

sam: who the hell are you?

**okay, so NOW it’s a blog. but it wasn’t when i first wrote it. and besides, the rambles is not a blog; it’s a rambles.

okay. i think it’s time to take that scene out back and shoot it. anyway, it’s fun writing LFV so far. the way being trapped in a dark, airless room with no doors or windows is fun.

just kidding. i am loving it. the parts which don’t make me feel like running in front of traffic.

anyway, look for more updates.

————————————————————————————————————
4. oh, and i’ve recently started blogging on www.8asians.com, a blog about all things asian american, so check it out.

you’ll notice that i have barely posted at all, and i will probably get fired from www.8asians.com unless i pull it together and start generating some somewhat interesting commentary. oh, the pressure.
i’ll just stick with not-so-interesting commentary and hope it invites more interesting comments.

but the other folks involved are very cool, and i highly recommend reading the posts of the folks who actually post.

————————————————————————————————————

wow, i really went on for a long time there. if you read the whole thing, you are a Very Impressive Human, and i commend you.

take care

sam

[the following post was written yesterday for 8asians.com, an API group blog which i was recently invited to join. we'll see how long i last before i am politely invited to un-join.]

as some of you gentle readers out there are perhaps aware, august 4th of this year marks the 30th anniversary of san francisco’s chinatown/manilatown I-Hotel eviction. today, july 26th, starts off the week dubbed “I-Hotel Home Week” by the Manilatown Heritage Foundation, and what better way to start off the somber (yet festive!) commemorating than a (H)API hour happy hour featuring performances (irreverent and/or irrelevant, you be the judge) by standup comics who were being evicted from their mother’s womb roughly around the same time elderly, low-income filipino tenants were being evicted from the I-Hotel? and drinks always make things better. and festive. and commemorative-y.

the idea is to build community & interest around the new I-Hotel Senior Housing & the Manilatown Center that now stand at the site of the original & iconic I-Hotel, which was torn down a few decades ago. so from now through 8/4 there’ll be various events (a youth organizing workshop, a Kearny Street Revival Poetry Night with sf-based poetry all-stars Al Robles, Janice Mirikitani, Jack Hirschman, Nancy Hom, Oscar Penaranda), culminating with a street fair the afternoon of saturday august 4th (the skyflakes and a bunch of other musical peoples & collectives will be performing throughout the day).

i guess i’m kind of promoting a multi-event here (full disclosure: i am one of the [possibly irreverent, possibly irrelevant, you decide] comics performing tonight, and i work with KSW)–but the 30th anniversary of the i-hotel looms large in the minds & memories of many, so perhaps there’s something worth considering & remembering here. you know, considering & remembering, like commemorating or something.

or perhaps not; you decide. anyway, some memories of the i-hotel stuffs and a bit more detail on exactly what is being commemorated can be found here. there’s also a fairly innocuous yet informative entry about it on wikipedia. commemorate, bitches.

next post: probably about vampires & piles of dead babies (you decide [not really, i’ll decide]).

a couple (a literal couple, not “a couple” as in “a few”) nights ago, my friend told me he saw a clip of me doing standup on youtube. seeing as i’ve been unsuccessful in recording a clip that seems worthy of uploading, as well as knowing myself to be cyber-retarded these last few years, i expressed surprise, and asked him what the clip was of. after a few moments characterized primarily by the sensation of rising dread, i realized that my friend had actually seen a clip of what can most charitably be described as a lightly-attended performance at a legitimacy-challenged establishment last fall in vacaville (i know. impressed?).

while there might be some value to be mined from the experience of being cyber-shamed, i was still horrified by the thought that any youtube search for me would return this particular video. i admit: i haven’t yet been able to bring myself to view the video. my memory of that night is tinged with neon, poorly-executed halloween costumes, a couple barren rows of folding chairs, and not being able to apply the drink tickets i received as a performer to whiskey. i do remember everyone was very nice. but still: not the kind of thing i particuarly feel like reliving right now.

anyway, i was spurred to action: why not counter the existence of an embarrassingly bad video of me doing comedy by uploading aNOTHer bad video of me doing comedy? but THIS time, the video would be of me doing a lackluster set at a well-known comedy club in san francisco. in uploading this video, i sought to explore the notion of not-so-successful comedy sets, and invite the viewer to consider the range of enviromental factors at play when watching the two videos side by side.

furthermore, i sought to alter the power dynamic–instead of letting someone else upload a crappy video of me and defining my cyber-identity, i engaged in a reclamation of identity-development, recognizing the power i had to actually take the initiative myself, and upload a crappy video of me.

how i am empowered.

so here it is: the first video i’ve ever uploaded to youtube, in all its mediocre glory:

[if you don't know what i'm talking about, please to read the other 18 may 2007 rambles called "my update of stuffs"]

the play explores dysfunction. someone recently said to me, “dysfunction’s so fashionable these days.” i suspect this line was delivered with a patronizing tone, but it was over email, so i can’t be sure. but in the absence of all the evidence, why NOT assume someone’s being a dick? i think that contributes to a better world.

anyway, i’ll say dysfunction’s more a universal truth and state of being rather than a fashionable concept, and i’ll also say dysfunction’s a matter of perception. but that’s boring, and the play will probably explore this concept in much more specific, interesting, and profound ways. but before we actually discuss the detail-to-detail process, let’s just play around with titles for the thing, cuz that’s all that matters.

here are the top contenders so far:

LIVING IN A PLAIN TEXT WORLD

CONFESSIONS OF A FEMALE COMIC

YOUR BABY’S DEAD; SORRY.

SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE RACIST

WHY IS THE GUY SITTING NEXT TO ME AT THIS COFFEE SHOP CREEPY-AS-FUCK?

YOUR BABY’S DEAD; MY BAD.

I’D RATHER BE A VAMPIRE THAN A ZOMBIE

CONVERSATIONS WITH JUSTICE JOHN ROBERTS

WHAT’S YOUR DEAL WITH BABIES

KILL YOUR EMAIL ACCOUNTS

MAKER’S MARK IS DELICIOUS

I’M NOT ONE-DIMENSIONAL, REALLY

enough for now. i think the play’s going to be in documentary format. and it’ll be a mystery slash comedy.

exciting. check in for updates. i’m also interviewing multiracial wimmenfolk for this. if you’re innerested in talking to me and you’re a multiracial wimmenfolk, lemme know. let me MINE YOUR EXPERIENCE TO SERVE MY OWN SELFISH INTERESTS of developing this piece.

(if you’re reaching this ramble from the email i sent out on 18 may 2007, and you actually want to finish it, scroll down to where the email left off. thanks.)

THE EMAIL I SENT OUT TO MY STUFFS LIST ON 18 MAY 2007

hello.

i’ve been having an increasingly difficult time sorting through my email, so i figured i’d send out some updates about upcoming stuffs and recent stuffs to add to the clutter in your box so YOU can also enjoy the experience of having an increasingly difficult time sorting through your email. not like this one email would be the tipping point if you’re not already struggling with such things, but who knows, it could be.

upcoming stuffs is first; below that is just for the sake of rambling, and if you’re a friend, letting you know some of the things i’ve been up to. why not.

coming up:

1. SATURDAY, MAY 19, 2007
Great America Santa Clara (see NOTE#1)
(some time between) 5 – 7.30PM
comedy, including Joey Guila and Samantha Chanse. and other performers. i believe the whole event is being hosted by the korean american dude from survivor. but i don’t know his name, because i’m not an avid watcher of survivor.
in santa clara; google it. you have to pay park admission to go.

2. MONDAY, MAY 21 2007
Independent Press Spotlight:
Ethsix & The Beat Within
FEATURING READINGS BY EVE EKMAN, ERIN FEHER, L. MARTINEZ, SAMANTHA CHANSE, FLORENTINO GONZALES, STEPHANIE SAMAPANG, ANTHEM SALGADO AND OTHERS
Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia @ 16th, SF; $5-$15 (Sliding Scale/Pay What You Can)
part of a series intersection does; this event’s mostly literary readings from two independent presses, ethsix and the beat within, and a few actors and i will be reading a few short pieces with helluh dramatic interpretation. and then authors will be reading their own pieces, as well.

3. SATURDAY, MAY 26 and SUNDAY, MAY 27
Glas Kat
AsianWeek Comedy Showcase (see NOTE#2)
8pm?
whoo. asianweek comedy showcase. asian comics. all asian, all the time. a line up including ali wong, leah eva, sheng wang, tapan trivedi, and samantha chanse.
FREE.

3. MORE NOTES, LESS SPECIFIC DATES (see NOTE#3)

NOTES of STUFFS

NOTE#1:
for some absurd reason, i’m doing a comedy set at Great America in Santa Clara this saturday (yes, tomorrow), 5/19. i’ve not publicized it because i’ve been in a bit of a trance about it myself, somewhat sickly fascinated by the idea of doing a set for about a thousand amusement park-goers who are probably not “my crowd.” howsumevah, i’ve had a delightful time the last couple weeks working out a “clean” set—which just means i can’t talk about race, anime porn, abortion, and my vagina using words like “fuck,” or “cunt,” or “dumb motherfuckers;” instead, i’ll talk about race, anime porn, abortion, and my vagina using words like “frak,” “vagina,” and “dumb motherfrakkers.” thanks, battlestar galactica.

no. i’m not really going to use “frak” in my set. any suggestions as to meaningful substitutions?

NOTE#2:
i’m not sure, but i believe this is the third year i’ve participated in asianweek’s comedy showcase. this is the first year it’s not at purple onion, in north beach, and the first year that i’m not the emcee. that’s right! i’m a comic without emceeing! i’m not going to have to do the same “whoo-hoo, here we are, we’re all asian and it’s APA heritage month, give it up for asians cuz you only got [checks watch, which presumably exists and displays time AND date, in spite of its invisibility] five more days to give it up for asians! cuz we only get a month! that’s hilarious [laughter].

actually, that shit’s MONey. i’m totally doing that during my set, host or no host.

and THEN i’m gonna say, “this shit is for APA heritage month. so if you don’t laugh, you’re racist.”

that’s right, i’m doing that one too. because i think outside the comedy box. the comedy MAN box. if anyone else does that joke, they totally stole it from ME. remember that.

NOTE#3:
as some of you know, last year i received an individual artist commission from the san francisco arts commission to write/produce/perform a solo theater piece. originally slated to go up in december, this production will take place february 2008 at the dark room theatre. that means i’ve given you ample notice. as part of the whole development process, i’ve committed to “blogging” about the development process. therefore, if you go to the section of my website that some people refer to as “my blog,” [you may actually find yourself in said section RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT] but which IIII refer to as my rambles section (multiple “I”’s in a row for emphasis, not a typo, because i choose not to rely on fancy-shmancy rich text formatting to express emphasis. because i know some of you are still living in a plain-text world. hhhheeey—“living in a plain text world” is a GREAT band name), you will see that i’ve recently updated said section with a post about the development process of new solo theater piece/play to be first produced february 2008. check it OWWWT.

though silent, i’ve not been without much activity and spiritual growth to celebrate. jealous? for instance, since last i wrote. if you’d like to read about some of these things, please go to the rambles section to read, cuz i just finished writing it and it’s long. the direct link is here [insert link to rthe page you're on right now]:

(B)
i went to my native NYC to watch what was technically a production of a fifteen-minute play i wrote last year through sf-playground.org. the play, called “havana heartland,” was part of a festival of fifteen-minute plays, very aptly called “the 15-minute play festival.” two theater companies called American Globe Theatre and Turnip Theatre Company “co-hosted” the festival. the play was staged at american globe, on west 46^th street and 7^th avenue, in manhattan. a filmmaker/director and high school friend, the gifted Thomas Connors, directed the play for me while i observed the process remotely from san francisco. and then i went out to see it—it went up april 27^th at an 80-seat theatre, which was full. i say it was a positive experience, although my parents chose not to mention it afterwards—presumably in an effort to help me save face by not alluding to what they may have perceived as a disgrace of sorts—but i was very glad they attended. they gave me a bag of chocolate and dried fruit. this gesture was much appreciated, as was the gesture of going at all. and tom did a brilliant job directing, and the actors gave helluh good performance. mm-MM.

(C)
i also worked in actor-mode on two staged readings, one of “four chinks and a dyke,” a work-in-development-developed-via-improv-comedy-strategies, by the philip kan gotanda, through asian american theater company; the other staged reading with through playwrights foundation, of a play called “layla and majnun,” by brooklyn-based playwright nastaran ahmadi.

(D)
i purchased a 1979 scooter, a p200, and have since been driving it around in exhilaration, feeling myself to have reached a state of Perfect Being and reveling in the joys of scooterdom. much to my surprise, my new-found object-and-activity-of-affection was met with many a raised eyebrow and expression of contempt by some of the folks-of-my-acquaintance—some even likening me to a russian hill rich kid (no offense, to all you “russian hill rich kids” out there), which led me to believe said folks-of-my-acquaintance are evil mofos. of course, i love them anyway—i myself am an evil mofo, and i don’t take kindly to kind people all the time. no offense to all you kind people out there, but you don’t really exist anyway—everyone’s got a mean streak, you just gotta spend enough quality time with ‘em to reach it, some times. leave me with someone long enough and i’ll find their evilitude. and then i’ll BLOG ABOUT IT. no, i won’t.

but i loves me some scooter. and it has opened my eyes to the world of motorized two-wheeled beings. before, i never knew moped versus scooter versus motorcyle—all the same. now i can watch “spiderman” the movie and know that dude’s riding a moped. do you SEE how enriched my life is now?

on a more profound note (brace yourself, bitches), i find my experience with scooters has illustrated a key element of living and perception and vocabulary, especially a kind of non-verbal experiential vocabulary (it makes sense to ME)—what you know about and what you experience yourself, the vocabulary (verbal & experiential) you have, informs what you see. i understood this concept before, but the whole scooter thing has made me experience it in a very simple and obvious way: before getting and riding a scooter, i barely noticed or saw them—every so often i’d hear a very loud grating sound that i associated with “motorcycle;” i’d get annoyed, think “fuck you! unnecessary sounding-thing,” and move on. but once i got the scooter, i started seeing scooters and motorists EVerywhere. like a whole new world had suddenly become visible. like suddenly fairie-world had exposed itself to mine eyes.

okay, that didn’t sound profound, and possibly came across as slightly insulting to motorists. but it’s profound to me. and not too insulting to motorists. i think it’s cool to be likened to a fairie.

(D)
i am not smoking. i have not had a single cigarette, or even part of a cigarette, since march 4^th. which was the day i broke my kneecap. there’s a connection, but i think i’ll write about it another time. anyway, all the money i’ve saved has gone to my justification for buying the scooter, and the Health Credits i’ve gotten by stopping (at least for the time being) have justified my continuing to drink and destroy my liver, although

(E)
in all honesty, i’ve not been drinking as much either.

(F)
i got my first belt promotion in kung fu. i started taking kung fu in january, thanks to my friend’s influence. the whole broken-kneecap derailed the extraordinary, some might say God-like, progress i was making considerably, but i’ve since almost regained full use of leg. my practice of elementary kung fu has led to me having dreams about warding off apocalyptically-placed attackers with terribly-executed roundhouse kicks. man, maybe after the next belt promotion—presuming i don’t quit or die or become maimed before the next opportunity to be promoted—i can start having dreams where i DON’t totally suck.

(G)
bantercut the band is recording an EP and an album. okay, we haven’t actually started recording yet, but we’ve decided on the list of songs and have figured out Good Peoples to help us with the recording. we are undecided if the drumming component will (a) consist of a drum machine track; (b) consist of jim playing drums; (c) consist of an as-of-yet-unidentified human drummer that is not jim; or (d) be nonexistent. the next bantercut performance is in june, i believe.